When I finished my first race of a significant distance the TC 10 mile - I finished alone. There were others that I knew in the race and I had support from friends and family outside of that day, but I got to the race by myself, finished alone and drove my own self home alone. I asked a stranger to take the picture in this blog.
I'm sure if I had written a secret before this race, it might of looked similar to this one. However, finishing on my own taught me a valuable lesson about myself... simply that I was a very capable person all by my lonesome. Perhaps something I knew to some degree already, but this knowledge was invaluable at the time I received it.
It also helped me separate myself from the expectations of others, something I've always struggled to do. Suffice it to say, very few people expected me to run. I truly ran that race for no one else's approval or because I was supposed to, and I ran it at a time when I had recently failed on a lot of things I had felt I was supposed to (not that doing those things was making me particularly happy). Running has made me strong in ways that go beyond running. I'm not convinced that running is a universal remedy for all, but I think there must be something about the pushing, pounding of the pavement, and sweat that makes it work for many. Running has worked for me because it helped me find a seed of strength at a time when I otherwise felt weak.
I agree, that IS heartbreaking, if only because I understand how it feels too. I've gotten so used to getting by on my own. And it's invaluable knowledge to have, that I can make it solo, but we all need people too <3
ReplyDelete