Yes, I'm actually doing this.

I been keeping a bit of secret from the social media world and actually the larger contingency of my IRL friends as well, so it's time to come clean.  I signed up for a marathon.  (Yes, the running kind, yeah the whole thing)  Sometimes people travel for that "first marathon experience" but I choose the local one here in the twin cities, in which the finish line is less than a few miles from my house.

I signed up for it initially when I was still in the glow of runner's high, injury free and drunk on my own self-worth.  Not a bad place to be at all, but post injury, I've been struggling to reconnect with the original enthusiasm.  At one point, I was ready to throw in the towel completely, but a chance meeting of someone else who was also in the TC marathon changed my mind and I decided I owed it to myself to at least make it to the starting line (and hopefully the finish line as well).

That being said, there are all sorts of reactions to sharing such news as "I'm running a marathon" or what I really mean is "I'm going to attempt to run a marathon".  Sometimes people feel the need to bestow praise, "That's awesome, good for you!", which is nice, but all I've really done so far is spend $100 in hopes of a goal.  Some people feel the need to question my motives "Are you sure you want to do this?", or my sanity "Have you talked to a doctor about this?".  Some people make a point to remind me of what's involved "Do you know how long you have to run?"  The answers are, Yes, I'm sure, Yes, the doctor says it's ok, and yes, I'm very aware, 26.2 miles.

Dealing with reactions is one thing, but perhaps a more crucial thing is dealing with the training.  There are about as many marathon training programs as there are people who run marathons.  All of them focus on different things, cross training, long runs, fast-short-runs, fartleks, hill training, and the list goes on.  Even with that, choosing the program is still the easy part and sticking to program far more difficult. 

So - the whole thing feels entirely surreal to me on many levels, but I'm actually doing this.  I've created a training program which I have followed very closely although not to the letter.  I can maintain a pace that is sufficient to be "declared a finisher", but slower than I would have hoped for.  On one level, I wish this was the glossy, victory speech that everyone loves to hear... but this is me, a human with a goal.  True passion mixed with authentic self-doubt.  There's beauty in that, even if it isn't the kind of beauty that gets tied up in a package with a bow.